Losing someone dear is an extremely painful journey. Soon
after the loss, the realization starts setting in that you will no longer be
the same person that you were with her/him; that a void is created in your soul
which can never be occupied again; that a large part of you is gone along with
the person. It is quite a gut wrenching pain!
As time rolls by, you stop sharing your grief and pain with
others. People around you start expecting you to behave in the same way as you
used to before. The condolences and sympathies start subsiding and people begin
to look for the old ‘you’. You may feel a need to be around people once again,
as you start appreciating the human connections even more now. You decide to
step out of your grievance zone. That's the first resilient step towards
healing.
You feel everything a little strange and different. You
observe and gaze around things with a different perspective. You wear a smile
on the outside to mask away your silent sobs. You pretend to be there with
others in the social gatherings whereas your mind is completely indulged with
the fond memories of the person. A song, a face, a fragrance, a place, an event
- almost anything and may be everything reminds you of your loss. You may feel
that you need more time and so you hibernate again. You weep, you shout, you
fall weak, you give up, but then eventually you gather courage once again to
pull yourself out of it. That's your next big step towards healing as you have
shown it to yourself that you are still strong enough to make another attempt
to overcome your grief.
You meet all sorts of people during this journey. You know
them already but the way they treat you during your journey makes them appear
as completely different people to you. There will be people who would avoid you
or avoid talking about your loss as they don’t know how to deal with you in a
grief stricken state. You tend to shape a negative image about them in your
mind but know it that they are the ones who are emotionally weak to handle the
pain and perhaps still need to learn some major lessons of life. They fear
dealing with loss and grief as they might have never fully acknowledged their
own unpleasant emotions. You also meet people who ease your pain, who comfort
you, who provide support, who say all the soft words you ever wanted to hear,
who encourage you to talk about your loved one while they listen to you
patiently. Those are the people who have been through this journey already and
they facilitate you as guides in your healing process. They make you realize
that even if we all are alone in this journey, then we are together in that
too.
Slowly and steadily after going through each step, there
might come a time wherein you realize that the person you lost never really
goes as you have already internalized her/him in your thoughts, words, and actions.
S/he is in your blood and bones. The person has survived in your soul and hence
will always be alive within you. Your love for the person is eternal and in a
way, you have not let the person die. And that's how you truly mean when you
say.. "Never let you go".
